But they can be avoided. Emotions are an essential part of our daily life. Whether you’re laughing at a text message or feeling frustrated with rush hour traffic jams, you know the ups and downs you experience can have a big impact on your well-being. Fortunately, you can handle most of the work of regulating your emotions long before the provocative situation occurs. By preparing in advance, you will find that the problematic emotion disappears before it interferes with your life.
Select the situation
Avoid the circumstances that trigger unwanted emotions. If you know you can get angry when you are in a hurry (and get angry when others force you to wait), then don’t leave things on hold until the last minute. Get out of the house or office 10 minutes before you need it, and you won’t be bothered as much by pedestrians, cars, or slow elevators. Likewise, if there is an acquaintance that you find completely boring, find a way to avoid running into that person.
Change the situation
Perhaps the emotion you are trying to reduce is disappointment. You still hope, for example, to serve the “perfect” meal to your friends and family, but invariably something goes wrong because you set your sights too high. Change the situation by finding recipes that are within your reach so that you can have a successful meal. You may not be able to build the ideal soufflé, but you are making a good chocolate cake.
Move your attention
Let’s say that you constantly feel inferior to the people around you who always look good. You are in the gym and you cannot help but notice the regulars of the weight machines who manage to lift three times more weight than you. Attracted to them like a magnet, you cannot help but observe with wonder and envy what they are capable of accomplishing. According to the magazine actualités, if you focus less on them and focus on your less punchy gym mates, you will feel more confident in your own abilities. Better yet, focus on what you are doing and by doing so you will eventually gain some of the strength you desire.
Change your thoughts
At the heart of our deepest emotions are the beliefs that drive them. You feel sad when you think you have lost something, angry when you decide that an important goal is thwarted, and happy when you think something good is going to come your way. By changing your thoughts, you may not be able to change the situation, but at least you can change the way you think the situation affects you. In cognitive reassessment, you replace thoughts that lead to unhappiness with thoughts that lead rather to joy or at least to contentment.
Change your reaction
. If all else fails, and you can’t avoid, change, change your orientation, or change your thoughts, and the emotion pours out, the last step in regulating emotions is to control your reaction. Your heart may pound on unpleasant sensations when you are anxious or angry. Take deep breaths and close your eyes to calm down. Likewise, if you can’t stop laughing when everyone seems serious or sad, gather your inner resources and at least force yourself to change your facial expression, if not your mood.